Today I had to handle some serious depression. I’d like to talk about it, mainly to record what I did so I can do it again.
Thing is: I don’t want to spend the hour or more writing it up.
About these thoughts about the world falling apart, life gloom, world doom, trying to find a right attitude towards all this misery = these are the wrong questions. You are going about it wrongly. These are not the legit problems neither is your approach the right one. (you are trying to sort something with logic and reason but it’s ultimately about the meaning of live and that’s not a subject founded in reason and logic).
Secondly: your brain chemistry is off. Don’t try to fix it with thought or will power. Human kind is optimistic, curious and playful in nature. If you are not these things than your brain chemicals are off. This needs to be remedied with chemistry. (Don’t feel guilty or weird about taking store bought neuro transmitters. You’re just supplementing a shortage.)
Hormones are neuro transmitters. These are powerful things. You also need the right minerals. Zinc, Lithium, Molybdenum, Selenium. Vitamin D. Buy them. Sun isn’t going to work.
In my case: blood pressure is too low and isn’t pushing stuff into your organs including the brain. Take salt. Take a cup of black tea. Lady gray with full fat cream.
Do this: actively shut down this train of thoughts. We will think about this another time, tomorrow, at 14.07 o’ clock to be precise. For 24 minutes. But not now.
Now. When you feel a bit better, chemically, there are some things about the state of the world that need to be discussed. Because your feel of doom and gloom is with merit.
Thing the first: word has always been on fire. We’ve always been threatened that the world would collapse in our life span. Cold war. Acid rain. Hydrogen bomb.
At each of these era’s the people living felt just as under threat as we do now from climate change, burning Amazon and loss of forest world wide etc. (Make no mistake: these ARE threats and we ARE at risk and it IS the eleventh hour.)
What I want to say is: people live under global threat for decades now. Those generations have found a way to cope, way back then. Perhaps we can learn from them. (It has something to do with choosing your scope of life. Impulses from outside that radius must be met with a hard skin.)
Thing the second: it’s been only 100 or 150 years that we concern ourselves with global trends and threats. Before that we just didn’t know. We knew a bit about European wars going on. The crusades. Coronations. But it was all “somewhere else” and quite detached from daily life.
Thing the third: This having an opinion about global things and how society should be is something from my generation and a bit around, 1920 – 1980. We grew up in the society that took care of you. We had social studies and history at school and learned to identify large patterns and we took lessons from history. Coupled with a sense that as a society we should stick together and take care of each other. Through government.
This has changed. Nowadays government won’t help you. You need to help yourself. Privatisation is an example. Profit models applied to care services are too.
The thing I want to say is: we as a generation have a handicapped point of view. We are biased towards old political habits. We have our eyes closed to how society is nowadays.
Thing the last: we are handicapped by our human ability to think in terms of cause and effect. We CAN predict the future. We can correctly predict that and how the world’s weather will grow more extreme. How things will be destroyed. Things on which our health and well being depends.
Science and logic are the systems of this ability. They are magnificent. They make our progress possible. Put man on the moon. Unravel galactic truths and mysteries.
However. We are easily lured in thinking that this cause-effect-way of looking at the world is also the correct way of experiencing time. It’s the way that chops up an hour in sixty minutes. A minute in seconds.
This is not the whole truth. Time also exists in another way. The way you know when you sleep. When you pet an animal. When you meditate. When you practise mindfulness. When you lie in the grass and close your eyes. When you are playing a videogame and are immersed.
Neither one of these two time-flows is the correct one. Neither one is better than the other. Both exist. Both are worthy.
OK. Hour is up.
Final thing: nobody blamed Bill Watterson for making comics. Nor Astrid Lindgren. Nobody said: “You should have saved the world instead of this scribbling you do.”
I am allowed also.
And as it is the thing I like best, this is a subject I can turn my attention to when I am in need of active tuning out thoughts of world gloom and doom.
But also, since it is difficult: it is also OK to just sit on the couch, knit a bit and binge watch series on TV. At least until I feel human again: optimistic, curious and playful.