Fixed the slow colon/ constipation.

So I fixed my slow transit colon and I now regularly use the toilet and deposit healthy, softish, stools in the round porcelain vault.

My clue was this: a scientific case where Crohn’s disease was healed by restoring the balance between gut neurotransmitters Dopamine and Serotonine.

In Crohn, it was assumed and proven in this case, there’s too much serotonin and not enough dopamine. Serotonine speeds up gut motility. By comparison I assume dopamine slows it down and this echoos my experience as a high dopamine person.

This is the scientific study: Amino acid-responsive Crohn’s disease: a case study. A patient of 22 years was healed just by taking in precursors to both dopamine and serotonin in a good ratio.

I mentioned this to my GP and he said that a regular side effect of Anti-depressants is loose stools. AD enhance the levels of serotonine. Serotonine is produced and used in the gut, for about 90-99,9 % of the bodily production.

So I set out to up my levels of gut-serotonin. For this I now take 5-HTP, a plant and precursor of serotonin. Currently I’m taking about 100 mg twice a day. I also stopped eating any and all fibres since I think my case of constipation is definitely not helped by adding fibre to hold the water. I’m better helped with relieving the digestive system of as many burdens as possible. No fibres, no vegetables, no raw foods, no nuts, no tomato skins et cetera.

I also apply the tummy massages I outlined in my previous post, both for the colon and for the Hepatic Flexure. And do the kettlebelling now and again.

I squeeze out lemons and drink the juice. (Acid stomach = better bile? Lemon juice relaxes the gut muscles? The increased salivation is important?  I know there’s a link between adequate saliva production and adequate adrenal function/stress resilience… I don’t know, it just feels good. I can’t say yet what is important in the palette of solutions I’m trying right now. Fresh lemons do seem important. Store bought lemon juice didn’t do the same for me.) I also take 1000 mg vit C. Sometimes twice.

Lastly I only eat proteins twice a day. I don’t eat any more after half past three in the afternoon. I believe the gut -or my gut at least- fares better with rests and pauzes. Not the constant bombardment of food morsels that the five-meals-a-day-brigade advises.

Those five meals a day are meant to keep your blood sugar level. I know other ways of doing that (see dr. Bernstein: eat nothing that triggers insuline nor any volume bigger than your stomach/fist. Or do a ketonic diet (but at the moment I’m enjoying my slices of white bread with lots of butter and just a hint of ginger jam too much)).

My gut has relaxed.

Suddenly my guts all fit into my pelvic bones. Everything is neatly folded up there. No bloating. I stand taller. Find it easier to sit up straight.

I have more energy.

I’m not sleeping through the night yet. But bodily stress has lessened. I have been sleeping 5 or 6 hours instead of 4,5. When I wake my guts want to move. I think they do not move while I’m asleep, it seems like they are waiting for me to wake. Or they are waking me. I need to do the laying on my right side to assist the Hepatic Flexure. It works. I can hear stuff moving and gurgling. I pass a bit of gas.

I have more energy.

However. The upped serotonine makes MAO A and MAO B work harder. This siphons away Dopamine. I have noticed that my ability to concentrate diminishes on days of high 5-HTP supplementation.

So I’ve taken a new supplement to up my dopamine while I do this experiment with serotonin. This supplement is called Methylphenidate, better knows as Ritalin. Ritalin causes the brain to produce more dopamine. I take 2,5 mg twice per day. Dosage for ADHD is usually 40 mg per day.

I had a big booboo with the doctor about wanting to try ritalin in this context. It’s a new GP, my trusted GP has stopped his practice to focus on orthomolecular science, specializing in the Methylation Cycle (!!!).

The new one didn’t understand one jota of what I was saying. Didn’t try either. All he saw was “a depressed housewife, looking for some happy pills”.  He thought I was on way too many supplements (didn’t bother to notice how low and tailored my dosages are). He suggested I exercise to battle depression. I’m not depressed. I already exercise. Fuck off.

I tried to steer the conversation into engineering territory, explaining how I approached this black box of a disease. How I had figured things out. How I had devised trials, to get more data. I mentioned Methylation Cycle and how messed up mine is due to faulty vitD and vit B12 receptors (I oversimplified things to get a common point of reference).

I asked him if he was familiar with the Methylation Cycle in the mitochondria, as part of the Citric Acid Cycle

All he heard was “Methylalalallablabla” and he proceeded on a rant about how way too many people take Methylphenidate and no one in Spain is taking it and here in the Netherlands everybody and their mum is shovelling pills, all because we want to keep up with Instagram and Facebook and things.

Yeah. It does have the same word in it, “methyl”. But I don’t think it means what you think it means.

So we parted. He did give me a prescription for Ritalin. He was reinforced in his idea that women my age are just sorry people looking for a quick fix. He never got to see beyond his blinders and see that in fact there was a smart engineer sitting opposite him, one with an interesting experience and an open approach to both life and health. Someone who he could have an interesting conversation with about healing and medicine.

Perhaps I’m a depressed housewife too, just like he assumes, I can’t say because I’m living my life from the inside out and have blinders of my own, but I know for a fact I’m also that smart engineer and he never knew.

The ritalin works. But it’s a crude dosage. I easily get hyper. It’s a nice feeling, for sure. I feel alive and productive and I want to dance and run. I do dance and run and try to change gears afterwards and rest (do that stomach massage while I’m resting).

I even started fitness. Powerlifting! Starting very slowly. I’ve been doing Fit20 since March and my core muscles have been build up precisely and with attention. Now I’ve joined a generic gym and do some cardio as warm up and cool down. In between I work on 7 or 8 machines, working on muscles and strength. It’s lovely! Endorphines ahoy! Lyn White from Reverse Therapy would cheer, I’m sure.

In a few weeks I’ll go work with the loose weights, barbells and such. Squat, Push up, Pull up, that sort of thing. It’s something I’ve always planned: weight lifting once I hit 40.

I couldn’t when I hit 40, I was too ill and weak. Now I’m 45 and I’ve started. Thanks to adequate cortisol replacement and now relaxed gut yielding more energy.

Still, I’ll be fine tuning the ritalin-dosage. 2,5 mg is too much in one go, I get too hyper. It’s the same kind of hyper I feel when I eat something fried in vegetable oil. It’s some sort of feverish greed. It feels as hippetyhop as having a little caffeine but with caffein I just get very chatty and fast-brained. With ritalin/vegetable oil I also get a feverish glance in my eye (and brain).

Estrogen-hype is different yet again. There it’s more Popeye-bam!bam! Rosie the Riveter. And lots of energy. I suppose its testosteron related. Of which I scored very low at the last blood tests by the way. I now have a DHEA supplement which converts into estrogen and testosteron, courtesy of your own body to chose how much of which. I do need more testosteron because I need to build up muscle. It’s a weird sensation to work my muscles in the gym but not have the building blocks to actually build them. Strange indeed.

For all HRT it’s: go low, go slow. So I’m just taking a little dab of DHEA every few days. In a few weeks there’s a whole battery of blood tests again. Before that I am to meet my new GP, a woman. I’ve prepared an introduction to my case. I won’t be hood winked by a biased GP again. I hope.

In the mean time: colon is happy! I am happy.

There’s more amplitude between activity and rest. The ritalin is a bit too high at the moment, I’m adjusting dosage. But it’s not so high that I get dopamine-excess symptoms such as head ache from tyramine rich foods (such as cheese). Although they do tend to come on sooner though but that can also be because I’ve been off tyramine for months if not years now. The system may have grown very sensitive (aka it’s not something I’m very worried about). The other day I had just a few organic corn chips for their salt content (It’s a heat wave over here! I’m very vulnerable to heat wave I found out.) The corn chips were made with olive oil (which are not the vegetable fried oils I meant earlier, those are from commercial shops and fast foods) and I got a splitting head ache afterwards. Olive oil contains tyramine. Same with Mascarpone cheese.

If I get the highs and the rests a bit more under control I’m hoping the sleep will follow too. I now -again- have come back to the notion that sleep is made during the day, just like I learned in the sleep study and the psychologist that helped me as part of that. Relaxing, mindfulness, during the day pays off at night.

I experiment with foods but most make me tired. I long very much for salad and sprouts and I eat them in small quantity. But mostly I eat a slice of white bread with lots of full fat butter (Demeter quality) and a hint of jam. Or a thick slice of white bread (artisanal bread, without sugar. Just flour, water, salt and yeast.) with four or five egg yokes on it, warmed in coconut fat. (I won’t say fried because I like to keep the yoke runny.)

I have a piece of chocolate, 75% or more cacao. But only one or two small bits in a day because I’ve noticed it kicks my adrenals and I will lie awake when chocolate was consumed.

For dinner (at 3.30 AM) I have drumsticks or a piece of steak or 150 grams of minced meat with tomato juice and spices. Or fish with creme fraiche.

I also eat pancakes, with jam or slices of apple. But only one or two a day. Instead of slice of bread or dinner. As a pick-me-up I drink decaffeinated Earl Grey tea with unwhipped cream or full fat milk.

Overall I just don’t eat that much, in volume. I do eat enough in calories, what with the butter and all. I have gained some layers of fat in the past few months. These will disappear now that I’m more active. I’m not worried.

I have found that ritalin/dopamins will keep you going and will take away the desire to eat. This can be a seductive tool in the hands of someone who’s not level headed. I know I have an addictive DNA-characteristic and I feel the appeal. Reverse Therapy keeps me grounded in what’s important. As do the physical activity. I need to go out every day, every morning, to move and to clear away the toxins and cobwebs that have accumulated in my body and mood. My body is helped by mB12 and Phosphatidylserine. I need to pay attention to clearing the junk away properly, now that I’ve kickstarted the methylation process and am egging it on with the ritalin.

So these are interesting times for me. I’m deadly afraid I’m wrecking something and for this I’m monitoring my body all the time which is not good, in terms of relax and trust (Reverse Therapy primary points). I take comfort from the knowledge of and my experience with “Go Low and Go Slow” which has always worked for me up until now. I find that I seldom burden my body beyond what it can clear away in a day. Now that the gut/colon is falling into this rhythm too I get more and more confident. Confident that I am a friend to my body.

I wish my former new GP read this. We could’ve become a team.

 

Adequate Hydrocortison Supplementation

The past ten days have been a wonderful, wonderful ride. I’m alive again!

I’ve upped my Hydrocortison daily dose from 20 mg to 35 mg.  It may sound like a lot but actually it isn’t. Anywhere between 20 and 50 mg per day can be normal for an individual. 35 mg seems to be my sweet spot. I can feel when it’s too much or not enough. Very interesting experience!

I also learned how to spread the dose throughout the day in a more physiological way (take 2/3rds of the dose before noon, take it in increments of 5 and 10 mgs)

Alive again! I’ve got energy! I’ve got stamina! I’ve been doing things I haven’t done since 2008. Things like taking a shower before bed. Just because I felt like it and wanted to feel the warmth of the water. I could never do that because it would affect homeostasis badly. I had to plan my showers. Each day I could chose to either take a shower or cook dinner. Couldn’t do both.
Now I can :)

I’ve taken walks into the city. I’ve started to do a little bit of exercising. One morning I just took the car and drove to my friend, just to have tea with her and eat all her chocolates, and then I drove back home and did some other things for the rest of the day. Without crashing.

Reverse Therapy is a tremendous help in keeping things fun. Doing things because I want to do them, not because I can do them.

Suddenly giving my body the hormone it lacks has affected other hormones. I’ve noticed changes in Thyroid hormones, Testosteron, Estrogens and Progesteron. Insulin too, probably.

I have the good sense to do HRT on a dose that doesn’t exceed normal daily production so any effects I have filter out of the system within a day. It’s interesting how I can influence it though. With food, with Progesteron cream, with calming the nervous system.

Today my medical tags arrived. I’m going to wear one of these whenever I leave the house and am in risk of getting in an accident or experiencing dehydration.
Untitled
I may order some new ones, with less info on the front but more readible. These tags are quite small in reality. I doubt anyone who finds me collapsed in the street will notice. And/or has her reading glasses nearby to read the information ;)

  • I will wear it with a white band with red crosses on it. I’m thinking of embroidering them myself. I could also learn bandweven…
  • I will wear these “upside down”, not in the way that I can read it but in the way that anybody grabbing my hand can read it. Seems more sensible.

I ordered these medical information tags from a wonderful company here in Holland: Healthband. They are very good, fast and reliable. They keep an eye out for optimum spelling and lay-out of the text and won’t start engraving until you give the final consent. Really good costumer service!

It’s a woman and husband company. She’s a diabetic and wears one of these herself. They noticed we lack a good supplier in the Netherlands for sport id tags and medical id and sos tags.

The tags themselves are good too. No sharp edges and quality engraved.

I chose to direct my information towards courages passers-by who find me collapsed or delirious from dehydration. I don’t dazzle them with the medical info, that’s all on the back. I try and tell them exactly what to do:

  1. feed me my pills. They’re in my bra. Do it! I’m in danger for my life.
  2. call the emergency services and say this: “adrenal crisis!”
  3. say the name and dose of the solution of injectable cortisol I need. I want the medical personal to know.

 

The hydrocortison is wonderful :)
I no longer need a wheel barrow to be carried around in to enjoy life:

It may still be a honeymoon period. I’m still figuring out a lot of things, for example this morning I woke up a zombie, I have difficulty getting things right through the night when I’ve had my insomnia again.

Insomnia!
Now I know for sure! When I/you wake up at 3 AM and are wide awake for 1,5 hors, that’s a cortisol surge. It is!
I can now reproduce it. It feels exactly the same.

The insomnia I have had my whole life is that: a cortisol surge at 3 AM. Puzzle solved!
Now onto the next: what causes this surge? That’s one of the queries I’m on now. That and the relation between homocysteine and my weird (scary) heart rhythms that I have since 15 months. Because I’m still doing the mB12 thing, now combined with Phosphadytil-serine which drives another keg in the same methylation system. My GP put me onto this.

It causes mild brain storms, literally. But luckily I can move more easily now and movement is marvellous for levelling hormones and weird brain chemistry. So, I’m off for a little walk now. It’s beautiful weather outside here.
Untitled

PMS from hell gone.

The past few months I got really bad PMS. PMS from hell.
PMDD. Weeks that I could not live alone because it was not safe. Because I was desperate and suicidal.

I knew it was all brain chemistry and not a chronic depression. As soon as my period started the cloud lifted and I was my happy normal self. But only for three days, the last two months. Three days after my period the cloud would descend again.

But knowing something has a chemical cause and dealing with the feelings/thoughts it generates are two different things. In the end it got too hard to manage the feelings and thoughts.

The weird thing was that my usual PMS can be managed by taking micronized Progesteron and/or Progesteron cream. I’m versed in that. I know how to work it.
I’ve had one bout of suicidal depression that was caused by a vit D shortage.
But neither one of those supplements helped this time. I was stumped.

Of course I did research and found the term PMDD, meaning PMS-from-hell. Including the suicidal tendencies. This rang true.
I looked up other people who have this and what works for them. One thing is that anti-depressants work instantly. Instead of the few weeks it takes to affect a chronic depression. With PMDD anti-depressants work instantly and you only need to take them a few days in the month.

The other suggestions I got were supplementing GABA, Lithium, St John’s worth, black bear spray, bh4 and 5htp.

I went to the doctor to get anti-depressants. This is tricky because I have a homozygous mutation for MAO A which means I already have an inborn MAO A inhibitor. Anything extra that blocks my noradrenaline receptors will have me bouncing off the walls for hours. Because I already have that tendency.

The doctor was very good!
He suggested that what I’ve been lacking these past few months is Dopamine:
neurotransmitter werkings

You all read Dutch right? The title is Function depending on Neurotransmitter.

Dopamine = attention; motivation; enjoyment; rewards.

Noradrenaline = alertness & energy

Serotonine = obessions & compulsion.

The three words in the middle read: interest; mood and fear.

The doctor must be right. There must be some sort of system where prolonged stress interacts with sex hormones (in their neuro transmitter role!) and depletes Dopamine in my head. An interesting thing to go look at.

Normally I have a healthy mix of the three. Although my Noradrenaline sticks around for too long because it’s destroyer MAO A isn’t very good. But otherwise I have a natural high Dopamine level.

He then talked me through the various anti-depressants that exist and on what neurotransmitter they have effect:
antidepressants overview

We chose an anti-depressant that affects Dopamine level, the best there is: Bupropion (this also is the only one that won’t affect libido)
It also inhibits noradrenaline but we agreed I should try it, in a low dose, to see how bouncy it makes me.

Dr. also suggested I use my sensitivity to assert if a pill was going to help me. Or even just carry it on my person instead of ingesting it.
Can you believe such a suggestion coming from a certified GP? That’s tailormade medicine right there. Fabulous!
I’d never thought of it but it is indeed something that works for me. I can sense whether something (a food) is good for me. Why not a pill?

He also mentioned the three things that improve mood:

  1. Zinc
  2. Krill oil
  3. Taurine

So that’s what I started taking. Taurine also soothes the liver which is a strained organ in my body. But it also contains sulphur which my body cannot handle very well (MTHFR/MTRR mutation)
The Zinc did it.

Whenever the dark cloud reared its head I just took Zinc and it went away again. It was amazing.
I hate when this happens, when a singular thing influences my mind so much and when it repeatedly proves it does and when I could have avoided suffering just by taking it earlier. And I hate the tiredness afterwards, when my body sighs in relief and needs time to recuperate. I hate when I wasn’t smart enough, resourceful enough, to stop this earlier.
I know I should be proud that I solved it and that I don’t feel so awful anymore. But the frustration is bigger at the moment.

So: no mental PMS/PMDD symptoms this month. I did not need to take any anti-depressant (but boy, am I glad I have them in my pantry. A good back-up whose presence eases the mind).

I’ve now had my period and we’re in day 4 of my new cycle.
Unhappiness is here again. But it’s very mild. I don’t think it’s related to the things above at all. The Zinc doesn’t attack it unfortunately.
It IS chemical though. I’m lacking something. Or have eaten something that poisons my brain. Could be the shrimp kroepoek? Or is the the stress of prolonged staying the city? The lack of chicken soup?

Either way I’m back on eating a clean diet again. No exceptions. With a brain chemistry as sensitive as mine, that’s the best thing to do.
I’m drinking a lot of (salted) water and taking enough hydrocortisone to keep my body out of stress.

And I’m re-affirming my body all the time that there is no reason to stress. We are safe. We are good. Relax. We are fluid and we are walking in the sunshine. Life is good. No worries.

(this is a solid approach to ease my Autonomic Nervous System which is at the core of my illness. More about that later.)

PS I stopped Valerian and also Progesteron pills the last week of the last cycle. Both might be energizing my system too much.

I took a Prog pill the other evening and laid awake again. Without it I sleep through the night. I do need the Prog cream for the current unhappiness though. This has always worked neurological for me so we’re back again at neurotransmitters and brain chemistry.

Sleep: slept through! Theory to the test.

Last night I took a Progesterone pill and I slept through the night on an unusual day of my cycle (day 13). I woke up refreshed and extremely happy. This supports the theory I’ve cobbled together in the last few days.

The happiness came from high serotonin and noradrenaline, I felt. And of having a good night sleep and perhaps having found another sensible theory!

On a side note:
I have noticed I’m quite excited the last few days.The amount of blog posts is indicative. This is “excited brain” on display. Not a good thing per sé.
And I feel a little sheepish that you all can see it.

I think it comes from the mB12 and Folinic Acid supplementation causing all kinds of waste to come free (akin to Copper Dumps) and raising noradrenaline. (the last week I’ve laid awake for 3 hours or more instead of the usual 1,5-2 hours). Aided by the Atlas Profilax treatment that activates overall my Sympathetic Nervous System is having a good time at the moment.
Luckily I succeed at shutting it up twice a day, when I take my horizontal rests.

The only other thing I know to do is be physically active during the day (I háve to walk outside every day since the AtlasPROfilax) and lessen the mB12 and Folinic Acid. Take a small break from Methylation.

So I’m going to the motions and I know it. I hope to calm down to my regular self in the future.

COPIED POST
The post under this paragraph I wrote this morning for a Spanish guy on the RisingPhoenix.me forums that shares the same sleeping pattern as me. (should that be “as I”?)
It’s full of white space because brain fogged people need their words in small doses.

Hi,
I’ve got a theory for my sleeping 5 hours and then lying wide awake for 2, being very alert. It fits all the symptoms and medical data I have.

SHORT VERSION:
after 5 hours I get excess noradrenaline on the brain. This prevents GABA rising and REMsleep commencing and makes one very alert.

Oral supplementing of the neurotransmitter Progesterone makes me sleep for 7 or 8 hours straight. Maybe because one of its metabolites, Allopregnanolone, dampens neurons firing and promotes GABA. It is as potent as benzo’s and sleepingpills, which is what most people use for this kind of insomnia.

Progesterone is NOT a female sex hormone.

LONGER VERSION:
In the brain a small amount of noradrenaline is needed after the 4,5 hours of nonREMsleep to stop the REM-off neurons from firing and let REM-on neurons start. When REM-on neurons get active GABA will rise and REMsleep will start.

REM sleep depends on high GABA.

Too much noradrenaline makes this impossible. GABA will not rise and insomnia will cause more noradrenaline. Noradrenaline is the neurotransmitter that makes you very very alert.

Reason might be MAO A not breaking down noradrenaline sufficiently due to a mutation.

Another reason might be too low Progesterone (I have this, tested and proven). Progesterone is not a female sex hormone, it is a human hormone. Testosterone is made from it. Cortisol is made from it. And it is a neurotransmitter in the brain.

In the brain Progesterone increases MAO’s activity slightly.

Progesterone’s most profound neuronal effect, however, results from its direct effect on the neuronal membrane. Progesterone has an inhibitory effect on neuronal excitation, depressing neuronal firing.

One of its metabolites in the brain is Allopregnanolone. This is a neuroactive steroid that does something with GABA. It has a potency similar to that of the most potent benzodiazepines (Valium etc) and approximately a thousand times higher than pentobarbitals (sleeping pills).

(I still need to check my sources but this one put me onto Allopregnanolone and this one researches REMsleep)

CONTEXT:
Noradrenaline is noradrenergic, meaning to do with the Sympathetic Nervous System.
Onset of REMsleep and GABA is from cholinergic brain input, it is about the Parasympathetic Nervous System. (source here)
The nervous system is not limited to the brain, of course.

REMEDIES:
– stop noradrenaline from rising (how? how? How do I get the Sympathetic Nervous System to shut up?)
– stop REM-off neurons from continious firing (how? by taking benzo’s? by taking Allopregnanolone?)
– raise GABA (how? taking precursors?)

SUPPLEMENTING:
Taking GABA is useless, it cannot go through the blood brain barrier (BBB) because it is too big a molecule, say people on the forums here. If a GABA supplement does have a soothing effect it means your BBB is leaky (search forums on this, Hip and Gestalt say smart things about this)

Progesterone: only take progesterone, no progestins. Be vigilant about this. Read the label.

Take the oral pill, not the cream, someone one the forums here said the pill form is the only form that yields Allopregnonalone. As is my own experience too.

In Europe the (only) correct brand for Progesteron is Utrogestan. It is not over the counter. Your doctor will probably resist and needs to be educated. Both on Progesterone/Progestins and on males needing this basic hormone.

A 100 mg pill gets converted to 10mg active Progestrone (the liver filters out the rest, working hard). This 10mg is the dose a regular human body needs for a regular day, it’s a physiological doses. It is what a normal body produces on its own. Supplementing the full 10mg is too much for a man who -presumably- produces at least some of his own in his adrenals. Problem.

Females need more because they also use Progestrone to balance out Estrogens. Their physiological dose varies every day and can range from 10 to 60mg. (60mg on day 21 of cycle)

Larger Utrogestan pills (200/500mg) are for females in pregnancy. They may need much more than the daily 60mg to keep their baby on board which is where the hormone gets its name: PRO-GESTational-hoRmONE and our association with it being a female sex hormone.

HRT = RISKY
There is no knowing in advance how your body choses to convert the Progesterone. It may raise your Testosterone, your Cortisol, your Aldosterone. Taking too much may numb the receptors or lower your own production.
HRT is risky business. Always start low and go slow.

10 mg Progesterone is excess of what a man needs, I feel. I’d want 20 or 50mg pills to start with but these are not produced. You could cut open a capsule and take only the white liquid, I guess. It looks like paint.

One thing about taking physiological doses is that your body is able to get rid of it within the day. You are not overdosing as is often the case with conventional HRT or other drugs.

ME/CFS people probably have decreased capacity for elimination so should even take less, of any drug or supplement. On a positive note: we notice effects sooner so small doses give us information fast.

MY EXPERIENCE
On some nights I take 100mg Utrogestan pills for my menstrual cycle and then I sleep through the night every time, unless it’s the last week before my period. I was told sleepiness was a symptom of too high a dose. Now I am not so sure. It feels awful during the day and I avoid it. But at night I sleep well and wake up with new vigour. And now I found a plausible explanation for it.

As long as my liver can stand it and I wake up feeling refreshed I am now taking Progesterone at night. The correct thing to do is find out with how low a dose I sleep through. But because my need as a female differs each day and I have CFS I’m not up for cutting up pills and taking notes yet.

For you I have no quick solution, sorry. Only this theory that, to me, makes sense and fits both our symptoms.

UPDATE
I just learned the antibodies to GLUTEN also block conversion from glutamate into GABA.
Leaving ones brain with too much glutamate (*boing! boing!*) and not enough GABA (zzzzz…)

source = http://neuroendoimmune.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/is-gluten-making-you-overstimulated/

Neurotransmitters: progesteron on the brain

Just for funsies I was wondering about the relation between noradrenaline (NA) and progesteron in the brain. Any neurotransmitter interference there?

Boy! Did I hit the jackpot!
It’s only from one source and I haven’t had time to check out the source itself or other sources or research but if this is true it connects a whole lot of dots.

the source: sexualhealthmedicine.com

PROGESTERON AND SEROTONINE
Progesteron and oestrogens claim serotonine receptors in the brain. Oestrogens promote the growth of these receptors, progesteron decreases it. This can account for some of the depressive feelings during PMS (post menstrual syndrome, occurring at least one week before the period, when oestrogens drop and leaves behind a field of serotonine receptors who’ve got nothing to feed upon).

PROGESTERONE AND MAO
Progesterone increases MAO activity, Estrogens decrease its functionality (!!)
Meaning Progesterone promotes excitatory neurotransmitters getting catabolized, broken down, whisked away.

People with progesterone deficiency have their brain bombarded longer by excitatory neurotransmitters? (it fits the symptoms of Estrogen excess)
How about people with progesterone deficiency AND a faulty MAO A enzyme? oooh boy….

Estrogens numbs the MAO enzyme, allowing the excitatory neurotransmitters to keep bouncing around in your head. People with natural high levels of these neurotransmitters are active, excited and happy (depending on their individual signature of the mix).
People who are low on these neurotransmitters (ADD people perhaps) get depressed when their Estrogen levels drop and Progesterone keeps egging on the break down of the few neurotransmitters they have. They would have very depressive PMS.

But it might be more complex than this. Balancing hormones teaches us that hormones are not like scales: add a little here and it will decrease over there. No, it is more complex.
Having higher levels of a transmitter makes its receptors more numb for it and makes the receptor for its antagonist more hungry. For example, taking more Progesterone enhances the level of Estrogen receptors. Making for more tender breasts during PMS, even though you are supplementing with higher levels of Progesterone than you ever had naturally.

SHORT QUESTION ABOUT HAPPINESS, ENDORPHINES
Might a happy feeling come from Endorphines and not from the mix of high dopamine and progesterone supplementation?
Progesterone correlates to feeling at ease, calm (hello PNS). Not happiness per sé.

PROGESTERONE IN THE BRAIN: SLEEP
Another article from the same source kept me awake last night:

  • Estrogenen increase the serotonergic, noradrenergic and opioidergic activity in the brain. (grrrrr!)
  • Progesterone increases MAO slightly. Progesterone’s most profound neuronal effect, however, results from its direct effect on the neuronal membrane. Progesterone has an inhibitory effect on neuronal excitation, depressing neuronal firing.
  • one of Progesterone’s metabolites is called Allopregnanolone. This is een neuroactive steroid. Allopregnanolone hyperpolarizes neurons by potentiating GABA-mediated synaptic inhibition. It acts at a neurosteroid-specific site on the GABAA receptor to facilitate chloride channel opening and prolong the inhibitory action of GABA on neurons. Allopregnanolone is one of the strongest ligands of GABAA receptors in the CNS, with a potency similar to that of the most potent benzodiazepines (Valium etc) and approximately a thousand times higher than pentobarbitals. (sleeping pills)
  • brain activity of progesterone and allopregnanolone is not dependent solely on ovarian and adrenal production. It is made in the brain itself.

TRANSLATION:

  1. Progesterone depresses neuronal firing.
  2. Its metabolite Allopregnanolone eggs on GABA activity (GABA is needed for REMsleep!)
  3. Allopregnanolone does the same as benzo’s do, the drug so many insomniacs turn to
  4. Allopregnanolone does what sleeping pills do a thousand times better
  5. Progesterone is made in the brain (what if my deficiency is expressed there too? Is it synthesized in the brain from cholesterol? How does this work?)

I
AM
GOING
TO
SCREAM
NOW

Just for a little bit.
It’s all those excited neurotransmitters you see. And not enough progesterone to depress neuronal firing.

I want more (to know about) Allopregnanolone.

 

PS a strong symptom of Progesterone overdose is sleepiness. Allopregnanolone would account for this, as it’s as potent as the strongest sleeping aids.

taking a Progesterone pill (100mg) is the one thing that gets me through the nigh and only during PMS time. Earlier in the cycle and I feel very very groggy the next morning.

PS2 on RisingPhoenix someone says that it’s oral Progesterone that gets converted to this Alloprgnanolone. Not so much the transdermal cream.

Basic decency: get up in the morning

I’m having a weird, troublesome morning.

Woke up at 6.30 after a solid 6,5 hours of sleep. Took some hydrocortisone to aid with getting ready to get up. Did some surfing to pass the 40 minutes it takes to kick in. Instead it made me drowsy, I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I recognised this as a too-much-progesteron-mood and fell asleep.

Woke up again at 9.15. Took some hydrocortisone. Waited. Again my body relaxed. This time I was ready to get up. But my mind wasn’t. “there’s nothing for me downstairs.”

That useless, worthless feeling washed over me again. No, it welled up inside me. I was drenched in it but without a care. I felt very numb.

All I wanted to do and all I could do was lay there, with my head on my pillow.
I lacked all willpower to do anything.

This is a new for me. I have lacked the brainpower to do anything. I have lacked the basic energy level to do anything.
But the will power? Never before.

The scary thing was it wasn’t even scary…
Just on overwhelming thruth of “I’ll just lay here and wither.”

It was very weird to not being able to do anything because of willpower. Before i’ve not been able to raise my head or my arm because of lack of glucose. I had the same physical feeling but now from lack of willpower.

Eventually I reached for my phone, head still on pillow, and called my husband. He’s in the city.
Explaining to him made me angry with myself for not kicking my butt. But at the same time numb. And worthless for leading such a useless life. Very confusing.

Together we broke up the process. He said I HAD to get downstairs and get some food in me and a lithium mineral supplement (Biotics). While you’re downstairs, put on the heating.

I suggested to skip dressing and just go down. This alleveated some of the hurdles in my mind.

We hung up. I prepared to drag myself out of bed.
And I started crying?! Big round tears. It was my body in distress, it REALLY didn’t feel up for the task. And it was me having absolutely no more power, strength or courage to fight any more battles.

That’s when I lifted my head from the pillow for the first time in 10 hours. And instantly felt a bit better, a little bit clear headed. I put a bit of npc on, advise from husband.

I greeted the cat, put on a bra and went downstairs.
Body screaming all the way :(
Trembling, crying, having to take really good care not to tumble down the stairs.

Now I’m back in bed again. The heating is on. A cup of tea is waiting downstairs, with some cream in it. I’ve eating a bit of liverwurst, butter, vit d and lithium. I peed.
Just waiting in the comfort of my bed untill my feet warm up again, then I’ll go get dressed and go downstairs.

I feel quilty of having dragged my body around, it may take a while for it to calm down. I took another chunk of cortison.

I’ve got no idea what happened. The drowsyness from the hydrocortisone may have been caused by it being converted to progesteron immedeatly.
The mood of worthlessness is definately influenced by lack of lithium. The methyl-B12 and Forinic acid I take require lots of lithium (and progesteron)I noticed. I have been firing up the methylationcycle a bit the last two days. And it is day 3 of my cycle when I usually become all Strong Active Woman again but also have to start npc because Misery Woman is also awakening

So there it is. A rotten time getting out of bed. And betrayal by the one thing I have always counted on: my willpower. My strong mind.

Now I’m a bit scared. Worried. What does this all mean? It feels like I’m slipping. Entering a danger zone. I am worried.

For now I’ll revert to my how-to-deal-with-suicidal-tendencies-plan which consists of concentrating on the next half hour in your life and nothing else. In the next half hour I’ll get up, get dressed, drink that tea. After that I’ll look at the next half hour. (probably knitting and a video)(or breakfast)

It’s not that I’m suicidal it’s just that when I was (seriously messed up hormones caused it) I devised a method of staying alive and right now I can use that clutch. I’ll postphone analyzing what happened and worrying about it for as long as possible. Push away the worrying, today I am in no state to find solutions. That’s basic mental hygiene, I feel.

Of course beneath the surface I’m still convinced I’m worthless…

But I’m also angry. To strip away my willpower? How dare it/they!

Having a day off from putting out the garbage.

I took the day off yesterday: I didn’t take my pills.

Did take the hydrocortison ofcourse. And vit. D. And lots of bio-identical progesteron. (I’ll be having my period any day now and my breasts were killing me. Also quite a bit of PMS symptoms so progesteron I took a lot of.  NPC creme on the breasts and Utrogestan pills orally. It helps.)

But I did not take Methyl B12 and no Folinic Acid nor Zinc.

Amazingly I felt better and better during the day and by the end of the day I caught myself singing while doing some house work. Yes, insert googly eyes here too!

At night I was so well that I made the conscious decision not to be bothered by some heavy trucks that were parked nearby, rumbling stationary throughout the night. I just turned 180 degrees in my bed so my feet were facing the noise, let out a sigh and thought of nice things:

I slept through the night!  As customary I did wake up after five hours of deep sleep but contrary to other nights I just turned on my other side and went back to sleep. No two hours of waking.

My conclusions from this day:

  1. I took one day off from detoxifying.
  2. I am detoxing on a physiological pace: one day at a time. Just like the hormones I take: no more than what the body can process in one day.
  3. underneath the detoxing I am quite healthy! I’m so glad to note how well I felt during the day. That is my baseline, my point of reference. The detox-symptoms have clouded it for months now but I feel really assured to have it resurface so soon.
  4. this MTR/MTRR detoxification uses a lot of progesteron. In the whole Methylation cycle progesteron is needed. Other people with these mutations should know this, especially women.

 

in other news: I have elaborated my theories on human cell biology.

I think each cell has the habit of storing garbage in the outer tips of its cell. In this fantastic little video of a white bloodcell chasing a bacterium amongst red blood cells you see how it drags along a black kind of tail behind itself. I believe this to be the cellular rubbish bin, stored in a place where it interferes the least.

white-cell-garbage-bag

link to video of white blood cell chasing and engulfing a bacteria. Yay body defense system!

When the cell divides the two daughter cells each get one tip of rubbish. This garbage gets handed down to the next generation with each cell division. It progresses down the line and builds up a little with each cell life. Eventually it’s the outer cells that inherit the most rubbish from previous generations. The cells between them inherit less rubbish from their parents.

cell-divide-garbage

tidbits: it takes cells 20 minutes to divide. Unless it’s a special cell, then it can take hours. Red blood cells live up to 140 days. (I am quoting from memory…)

In ‘normal humans’ each cell clears out a lot of its garbage via the Methylation Cycle.

In ‘freaky interesting humans’ with mutations in the Methylation Cycle this day-to-day rubbish isn’t getting cleared away and remains in the cells. Stored in the tips. Eventually it gets passed down to next generations as shown by my ‘interesting’ sketch above.

In the end the cell cannot divide anymore, it dies and spills all its contents in the extracellular space where other cells try and clean it up. Store it in rubbish bags of their own.

In my 30+ years me and my cells have gathered a lot of garbage. All the broccoli I ate that I couldn’t process. Any alcohol (including the ones in beauty products), any exhaust fumes, anestetic. Garlic. Cell debris from x-rays.

My cells stored so much garbage, I believe, that their overall functionality eventually got hindered. Putting my body under stress, causing system wide symptoms of illness. In my case: hormonal imbalance, stress illnesses, adrenal misfunction, malnutrition, sugar addiction etc. And lets not forget behaviour and sensitivities that remind my doctor of people with an Autistic Spectrum Disorder.

It could as easy have been a late onset auto-immune disease or diabetes, I feel. Or a ‘vague’ illness we mainly associate with women. (such as ME, CFS, Irritated Bowel Syndrome, etc).

Well. Today leisure is over, it’s back to cleaning up garbage for me.

I wonder how long it takes, how long it will be before the rubbish is cleared and I can get my mind back… Yesterday I even thought about art and design and working! But as long as there’s rubbish I cannot. I do have to amend that legal/technical document this week however, to prevent the shit-fermenting-plant they are planning to build in the field next over. That will be quite enough to keep my rubbish mind busy.
And there’s my period, today or tomorrow. I am prepared: there is food in the house, warm blankets and lots of earplugs. No visitors. I will have a blissfull two days to myself. Just drinking tea, holding my tummy and writing that paper.
 

 

Thursday morning, better be safe

<insert swear words here>

I did get started on a shawl pin. I have this design that is wanted and I got about half way making another one. Then I got really tired, probably time for digestion nap.

got to the couch, laid down, put Dexter on, started knitting. Stomach started singing, so far so good.

After about an hour I got more and more drowsy. Unhappy too. I got up, realizing I had not put on the central heating hot enough (it needs to be 15 degrees celcius to be comfortable for me. Below that I get unhappy. Above that it feels too luxurious. (normal people hav 18 degrees as a minimum and 21 degrees as an average. I’m working on that, it has to do with “I’m not worthy”)

I sat on a chair, waiting for the temperatur to rise. I felt utterly miserable. It is a pity solutions don’t come into effect the moment you set them in motion. It was a miserable wait, really eroding the base for my optimism.

Still, the drowsyness remained. This is progesteron overdose drowsyness. Did I not eat enough? this pill worked yesterday. How come it is too much today?

It is a bit of a dangerous drowse. I cannot control my motor skills very good, I cannot hink very clear. It’s the kind of drowsiness that really depends on the habits and safety precautions I have put in place before. I need to be able to rely on the habit of locking doors after using; of shutting of the stove after heating something; of concentrating where I put my feet when walking; of checking where the cat sleeps so I do not sit on top of here when I flop down somewhere.

It is the kind of drowsiness that depends on me having prepared food in advance. Of having some nice sites to visit to cheer me up. Of having a checklist (room temperature? took al my pills? etc)

It’s a drag. I hate it. I hate having to think in advance and put habits and precautions into place when I’m clear headed. I hate the time I am waisting right now, now I cannot do anything. I hate feeling sad and having to wait before measures take effect. I hate the rollercoaster this is because it is <another swearword> tiresome and I don’t have much of that to spare.

If you’ll excuse me now, I have to try and transport a cup of non-caffeine coffee + cacao + cream to the couch without spilling it and without killing the cat. It will take all the concetration I can muster.

 

<insert mental image of a nice cup of cacao; of correct spellings and of a very happy snoring cat>