I did a thing! We moved into a new house three weeks ago and today I went into the crawling space and investigated why we have damp problems. It’s a space under the living quarters, it’s barely 50 cm high. I was so brave!
It’s a bit of a maze down there, with dividing walls that have little crawl through openings. Only a petite human like myself can go through these. My husband was waiting at the opening of the maze, hoping he didn’t have to go in and rescue me.
There’s wet sand all along the west wall and also a “sink hole”. The coax cable goes through the wall here, we think it lets water in from the outside:
Floor beams look good. Dry:
Lots of cobwebs and calcified “spider winter fest dresses”:
The ground is dry save for 1 meter along the west wall and the north wall.
We’ve put a ventilator in to get rid of the damp air and hopefully the dampness in the sand. This will take a few weeks. We’ve asked a professional to come and have a look and probably install ventilation shafts in the outer walls. I sincerely hope the dampness hasn’t taken up residence in the woollen carpet that’s installed in the living quarters. We will be ventilating the living room a couple of times per day too.
This was quite a feat for me today. Now I’m also going out and walking to the bakery and get an oliebol. And I took a shower! I am working hard on getting rid of this stress and depression. But if things are too much I am fine with spending the rest of the day in bed. Spelunking and showering is enough results for one day.
To help with making myself smile I am wearing a new dress. Look how fun:
Wrong fabric (jersey, not sturdy enough to do the things I do. Like sitting on the pavement or spelunking. Also not lined so it clings to my underwear and is a bit thin.) Wrong shape for my body.
But who cares? Funny sunny side up robins!
We also bought some fun beautiful things for the new house. Hat stand and bird bath:
Hat stand is the only x-mas tree we have this year. I really didn’t have the energy to organize the tree and the decorating. It was a bit empty in our house, this week, because of that. But I spend the energy I did have on drawing a new catvent-calendar, with cats in the shapes of x-mas baubles and I had fun. So: good trade off.
Spend your little amount of energy on something you really like. Even though sitting down at the table to draw is no fun at all. This is a quirk of many illustrators, we’d rather think up excuses not to sit down and start, even though drawing is the thing we love most.
In the past few days, I have just sit down. Once I’m there there’s plenty of inspiration on that table. And I do like to draw.
Also bought two bird baths:
Photo’s by vogelbadjes.nl
, the site of a nice man in the north of the country who likes stone, nature and birds, just like we do.
Lastly I think Zolpidem, known as Ambien to American friends, might interfere with Serotonin.
Most nights I take 2,5 mg of Zolpidem in the middle of the night, when my IBS wakes me up violently. The stress of the IBS gives me lots of excitatory neurotransmitters (serotonin and dopamine) which my faulty MAO A and MAO B enzymes fail to break down in a fashionable time. As a result of this I have a 1,5 hour insomnia and lay wide awake with a brain like a pin ball machine.
This happens every night and has caused my adrenals to give out, after a few decades. Seeing as they weren’t capable of providing me with anti-stress hormone cortisol to counter this stress and also counter the lack of Human Growth Hormone which is supposed to surge in your REM-sleep in the early hours of the morning. The REM-sleep I miss because I am awake. (Also they had to make up for a Progesteron shortage and counter Oestrogen dominance and endometriosis. Top it off with a virus, most likely Q-virus, and you get CFS/MEID which turns out to be a lot of mitochondrial hindrances and busted adrenals Addison’s disease.)
Anyway. I wake up somewhere between 2 and 4 o ‘clock in the morning (4.45 hours after I fall asleep.) I take 2,5 mg Zolpidem/Ambien and fall asleep for another 4 hours. I wake again in the morning and have no residual tiredness from the Zolpidem. It has left my system (thank you liver enzymes P450).
The thing is: Zolpidem acts on the GABA receptors. Or releases all the GABA that’s in storage. This causes the sleepiness within 10 minutes of taking a pill.
The thing the second is: don’t fuck with hormone receptors. They will react. They will get less sensitive. There will be other receptors reacting.
I haven’t figured it out yet but I suspect the GABA action of Zolpidem/Ambien causes effects in the serotonin-receptors. I have been very sad the last two weeks. Of course this could be many things. The moving house. Female hormones. Dark winter days.
But I didn’t take Zolpidem tonight and today I am happy again. My own self. The happy egg with high serotonin levels because I am homozygote for both enzymes that are supposed to break them down: MAO A and MAO B. (I have the opposite of what people with ADD have.)
Sleep well or be happy. I will alternate I think.