No guts, no glory

It’s Easter Sunday.
Yesterday I spend a lovely day at a knitters’ house, making paper tape dummies. These are excellent! And superior in use to duct tape dummies. (no smell, no glue onto your pins)

My friend prepared a wonderful lunch and made sure to ask what I could and could not eat.
She skipped the garlic she usually puts into her soups. She made a stunning, hot aïlio as a side dish instead, for people to put into their soup. It smelled delicious!

I skipped the garlic but I did eat the other treats. Not the really bad things such as gluten or cake. But the things you need to try every once in a while, just to check how the gut is doing. And also to prevent it from getting too touchy/vulnerable/diva like.

So I had some of her fantastic candy (nuts, dried fruits, orange juice, cookie spices. Chop in the blender. Shape into bars or balls)
A sip of honey and comb from her own bees (!!! how’s that for a hobby?! In the city no less!)
Homemade tomato soup from home made broth, with pieces of onion and pepper (paprika)
Dark chocolate bonbons.

It was all delicious and so full of love :)

But I did lie awake tonight with an upset gut. It spilled over into my brain and I was hyper and doomed and fresh out of joy de vivre. Luckily I recognized these feelings as just symptoms. No need to do anything about them, least of all “solve” them. Just wait. Calm yourself. Try and get some more sleep.

Then this morning I could not get out of bed, all ME and lethargic and messed up brain chemistry.

It’s an odd state to be in. You feel rotten and you just want to lay there and stop existing. But the only thing that will actually help is to get up, to get moving and to get those nasty poisons out of the system. (just by being upright, walking around the house, drinking water or tea)
It takes a lot of will power to make it happen. To get to the edge of the bed.

Now I’m downstairs. It’s a lovely day outside. I had a peek but went inside again, there’s just too much sunshine, bird song and leaves.
Instead I’m in front of the computer now. First mug of tea is gone. Ear mufflers are on. And I read a bit about IBS (irritable bowel syndrome).

They list the same foods I ate yesterday as triggers.
Whereas IBS symptoms are mostly noted in the bowel (diarrea or bloated feeling or gassiness) I’m sure there are symptoms in the brain too.
I can probably find some knowledge and experiences in that field that I can use for me. I’m already very pleased that they note stress as an influence on the bowel.
The gut-mind-gut connection is all too real for me.

Today I’m having a little pity party that even small nibbles of food will trigger brain chemistry symptoms in me. I will have to reject even little nibbles with nuts, like the easter treats we bought for ourselves.

I cannot decide if it was worth it.
I was really happy yesterday, sitting at my friends’ wooden dining table, enjoying her food.
But last night and today I feel truely rotten and I don’t know how long it will take for my gut to quiet down and my mood to lift.
Well, it’s another faulty question than. I should not try to value if it was worth it or not.
Yesterday I was happy, I should cherish the memory.
Today is today. Time to make new memories.

Either way: it’s back to chicken soup for me.
And movement. I will take my walk today and sit upright and move as much as possible and drink tea a lot. If I do just that, it will have been a good day.

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