Today is Monday. I just went for my daily little walk and the air was soft. Spring! The birds were calling it too.
Suddenly I remember Spring and Summer. The smell. The joy of just being amidst green grass. Bugs flying about. How could I have forgotten that feeling?
It’s the same in the Fall. In Fall there’s that first day when suddenly you remember how it is to have cold in your body. Being cold. Somehow you forgot about it in Spring and Summer.
Today was that day for me: Spring! With that smell.
Today is Monday. Last Wednesday and Thursday I had switched to another pill for Methylation Cycle Protocol. Untill then I had been taking Methylcobalamine (mB12) and Folinic Acid. Both processed forms of the foods that are so good for you: vitamine B12 and Folate. Both of which I do not process well in my body cells due to mutations in my genes. (MTR and MTRR to be specific)(to be totally specific: I’m homozygous for MTR A2756G and for MTRR A669)
I had been taking 1200 mcg of mB12 and about 800 to 1200 mcg of folinic acid (the pill Leucovorin). This fired up my methylation cycle nicely. My cells suddenly started using “B12” and “Folate” and started detoxing.
On Wednesday I read about another form of already processed folate: Metafolin (brand). The nutriënt Folate goes through numerous steps before the cell is able to utilize it, about 12 of them. Folinic acid is the third step and Metafolin is the last. Making Metafolin the form easily absorbed.
So on Wednesday I took a pill that combined mB12 with Metafolin. I had already noticed I’m quite vulnerable to the folinic acid and thought I’d safe my body the trouble of converting it.
Thursday too: 1200 mcg of mB12 and 800 mcg Metafolin (this is pretty much the correct ratio although I think it’s empirical found, not theoretical)
By Thursday evening I was stark raving mad. Very hormonal. Desperate. Tired of life. Convinced it was all to no good anyway. Convinced I had thrown it all away, that I was useless and that from here on it would only get worse. Life.
Luckily I know what this is. This is toxification of the brain because the body cannot process the toxins fast enough and/or there’s die-off. Here’s a good description of how it works.
I breathed through it, cognitively. I took extra Valerian, extra HCL and extra Progesterone.
On Friday I took a break from Methylation. I had that workshop Enamel the next day and wanted to rest up a little. During the day my good spirits returned. I got energy. I even withstood the bout of stress that the legal papers about the manure plant brought. Double Progesterone got me through the night.
On Saturday I took no Methylation. I did the workshop just fine. Was utterly tired afterwards and just about made it home.
On Sunday I took no Methylation protocol. I was soooo tired.
But a curious thing happened while on a break from Methylation. Art happened.
On Friday I studied online about enamelling. Found lots of art. Thought about them a bit.
On Saturday there was a piece of copper plate waiting for me to saw into a shape. This was possible because I was the only participant in the course, there was time for me to learn the techniques and deeper details. Usually they work on preshaped circles or squares. Now I got to saw.
Inspired by the workshop and having to make various pitstops on the drive home I got to think about shapes a lot ánd got to draw them on parking lots along the motor way.
Sunday I could do not much more than lay in my bed and surf and learn about enamel and think about shapes. About art! It all started humming! A lot of the old fascinations with shapes and contours and counter shapes came back. All the stuff that intrigued me when at the Art Academy. And before!
There was a small bout where I thought out a masterplan to become a professional enamelist.
But soon I realized this was one of those crazy, ambitious routes my mind takes when it wants control and assertance. (why this not english? you understand what I mean nonetheless, I hope)
So I shut down that train of thought and focussed on what ties this to my other fascinations: shapes, contours, countershapes, spaces. All my old friends.
I am ASTONISHED that this all came back to me yesterday. That it’s all still there.
It came together with the eagerness to explore. To sketch. To draw. To look. To explore with paint and fingers and scissors and colours.
Today is Monday. This morning I spend my golden hour thinking about shapes and sketching. I feel an artist again. I feel like me again.
But today is Monday. I have started Methylation Cycle Supplements again. I need to get rid of all the toxins that have built up in my body for decades. I have entered detox state again.
But at half the dose now. 500 mcg mB12 and 400 mcg Metafolin. (together with all the other nutriënts needed for this protocol: Mg, Mn, Se, I, Li, Zn, Mo)
I think this will kill the artist in me. No, not kill. Put to sleep. Wintersleep. Alive. But silent.
Soon I will enter brain fog again. Hormonal state even. Then all I can do is muddle through the day, eat my soup, take my supplements, take my walk and shed the toxins. Untill it goes better.
It will go slower at this lower dose. But I may be in a better mood.
All in all. Monday.
Spring is promised.
If I can keep doing it slow, keep to two things a day, I will get there.
PS because I like it when everything makes sense I’m putting this link here, it explains why people with ME or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome need days (or weeks) to recuperate after a tiring day/event.
Especially the alinea below the middle called “Explanation of the Fatigue Problems in CFS Patients”. With all the talk about ATP.
For me recuperation time used to be three months. Then two weeks. Now two days. (6 if my gut health is involved, say with gluten)
By now it’s Monday afternoon and I can report that it seems my body has dealt with the detox of today. (I take my supplements in the morning, together with a very hearty breakfast brunch lunch). I feel the energy picking up. My brain is turning to art once again, I might do some reading. Who knows, another scribble?