I think I’ve got all my ducks in a row now.
pic by vanora
I’ve got a pretty good theory about why I fell ill and what I can do to get well. I’ve devised a plan that will get me there, in about 5 years I estimate. (better hurry slow)
Now all I have to do is live it.
Which is pretty hard to do. I’m more of an event kind of person than a structural one. I’m the one you get for thinking up a businessplan and dressing the store. Actually manning the store and enjoying the day to day runnings is not my strong suit.
This morning I learned about Angel Adoree. A remarkable woman who secured investments from The Dragons Den for her Vintage Pastries Experiences.
She’s also loved by Dick Strawbridge, another entrepeneur who gets me all excited.
Both are enthousiastic people, daring to show who they are and making a living out of their passions. And they enjoy a quirky appearance, which always gets my appreciation.
At the end of the sequence that shows how Angela pitched the Dragons and viewing her website and activities, I was crying.
Of course I’m a bit unhappy that they live the life I so long for. Doing fun things, building new businesses, doing eco-engineering, hosting vintage tea parties. But crying??
It’s these damn hormones and this sensitive brain chemistry.
My body is detoxing every day now, with the Folinic Acid and the B12. Heavy metals are floating all about. With my brain chemistry make up (MAO A mutation etc.) and my Progesteron defficiency I respond to the slightest imbalance.
I cry. I feel deplorable. I don’t want to live.
Which is why I am doing this slow, this healing plan.
Which is a drag because I’m impatient by nature and loose interest once I understand a thing. It’s new things to learn and puzzles to solve that keep me enthousiastic.
But here I find myself, dripping tears and heaving with misery. Grinded to a halt and no power left to move.
Best thing to do when feeling like this is ignore it, to make sure Progesterone and Valerian are on board, get the bile is flowing (take HCL or vinegar) and help the body move these toxins into the bile and out of the body.
That means: move. Get outside. Take that walk. Or take a shower.
Which is what I did. I went outside and did my walk.
I want to state publicly and clearly that going outside and taking that small walk in that state of mind is a mighty great accomplishment.
I deserve an award.
As a matter of fact, here it is:
which I totally ripped from this site and am too tired to figure out who made it and should be credited.
I’m awesome with flaws, like that.
But Chuck, Honey Badger and I don’t care, not today.
now swim, you bastards. Swim every day for five years and watch me win this fight in slow motion.
pic by katelyn thomas
PS stopping the N-A-C worked. I’m back to sleeping. I try and time the detoxing for daylight hours
Am slightly worried about too low cysteine levels. However, am banking on slow processes and full spectrum amino-acids (also known as runny egg yolks) giving the body plenty room for handling things.