homesick for another country

the reason I have not yet written seriously about my abilities or my dreams is I am still getting over a lost love. A few years ago we were about to emigrate to Norway. These plans were thwarted because I fell ill. I was not able to think about Norway for two years, because it physically hurt to do so.

photo by

stunning fjord, picture by Timo Laaksonen

Another two years passed and now I can think about Norway again. In the mean time I have brought the lifestyle that I was going to adopt over there to over here. I live in a wooden cabin that is beyond ‘hyggelig’ with its cute accessoires and wooden details; once a month I meet women who are independent, self reliant and crafty, especially with wool and I live close with nature .

But still…. not many mountains, rocks or rivers here…

And so many people! Who are all soooooo busy and hyper. And make so much noise and car fumes.

In Norway I learned to kayak. Sea kayakking to be precise. You will not believe the majestic and magical feeling when kayakking over fjords and along the sea side with its round rocks! True magic.

I even learned to build a kayak, in the way the Inuit of Greenland do. Carving wooden spikes with my knife, bending them with steam, using hemp string (fortified with beeswax) and covering the frame with a seal pelt canvas.

this is the type of kayak I built, it is sea worthy. Mine had a longer, pointy bow though, this one is more round. Mine is built to navigate the waves that crash on the shore. I doubt this yellow one is…

I built it in only two weeks! At the workstudio of The Kayak Specialist in Norway.

I tied the kayak to the roof of our car and brought it home, after all I live in a water country too, with our canals, rivers, dikes and sea. But I have never used it…. (I feel awful about that).

Well. Today I spend time with my friend while she drove us to our monthly wool spinning meeting. She has a converted van with which she and her husband travel through Norway for a few months every year. They had just returned and we were talking and talking and talking (even in Norwegian for a bit). We shared so many feelings and memories, I was very happy.

Later on, at home, I felt the pining. I think having to give up living in Norway has been the biggest price I pay for having adrenal insufficiency and hormonal unbalance. Even though after four years I am alert again and I am able to think and to look at the future, I still cannot think freely about it because Norway is still in my heart. With all its faults and stupid things, Norway is still an amazing country.

Yes, I think we have to incorporate Norway into my future plans. Lets make it a ‘randvoorwaarde’ (when áre you going to learn Dutch), a condition, a given.


in other news: I have been offered two shops to sell handmade shawl pins I can make. I had shown some types I’ve been playing with, special pins for lightweight knitted lace shawls. In one week time two vendors jumped on me to be their supplier.

If only I wanted to be a shawl pin maker….

(or if I could think of a way how to do business with friends)



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